Jokes for all

Feel free to browse the collection of tall tales, yarns and downright lies.   They are all family safe - the test I apply is "would I tell this to someone's grandmother?"  If no,  I don't use it.     (That doesn't mean i don't appreciate a dirty joke,  but I don't think they're appropriate for broadcast on the radio - you never know who is listening or how old they are or  what their attitudes to dirty jokes amounts to. )

Sex

A woman comes home and tells her husband,  "Remember those headaches I've been having  all these years? Well, they're gone."  "No more headaches?" the husband asks,  "What happened?"
His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a  hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a  mirror, stare at myself and repeat 'I do not  have a headache; I do not have a headache,  I do not have a headache.' It worked! The  headaches are all gone."
The husband replies, "Well, that's wonderful!"
His wife then says, "You know, you haven't  been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these  last few years. Why don't you go see the  hypnotist and see if he can do anything for  that?" The husband agrees to try it.
Following his appointment, the husband comes  home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and  carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on  the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."  He goes into the bathroom and comes back a  few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes  passionate love to his wife like never before.  His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"  The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right  back."
He goes back into the bathroom, comes back  and round two was even better than the first time.  The wife sits up and her head is spinning.  Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right  back."
This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the  bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and  saying, "She's not my wife. She's not my wife.  She's not my wife!" 
Services will be held on Monday.

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